You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
We are all done wearing pants today
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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