Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
