So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
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It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
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Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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