mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
We are all done wearing pants today
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