can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
