you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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