you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
