Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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