WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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