youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
