I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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