what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
