all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
