bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
