I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
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