you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
