She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
