he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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