whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
false alarm. still invincible.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
