Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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