do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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