shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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