Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
