kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
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