so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
