please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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