She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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