One girl and one boy is just not enough.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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