I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
