He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
