Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
