And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
