Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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