Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Just high enough for therapy.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Randomize
