How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Nicole vs. Life
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
