what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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