so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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