hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
