is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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