Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
