i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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