I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
