i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Randomize
