we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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