I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
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