I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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