i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
