I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
