Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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