did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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