"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Randomize
