I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
