Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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