Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What changed your mind?
Being sober
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize