what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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