never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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