I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
