there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Randomize
