I think I am morally bankrupt
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
