I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
