just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
