Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
